There is always Two Way

Do you remember the old movies? in which there will be two best friends/two twice. They both play together, study together in the same school, have common friends. But when they become elder, one becomes 'Police Inspector" and others become "Thief". Have you seen it...? I hope yes..

I mean from this story is that they grew up together in the same environment, had the same facilities, had the same friends circle. Then why one became 'Police Inspector" and others became "Thief." One became 'Extremely successful” and others became "Extremely failure."

Do you have any idea.....Why one became 'Extremely successful” and others became "Extremely failure?(Comment in the box)

Now, just think that the two boys from the story are you. There is a big possibility that you end up like one of friend (successor or failure). What are the reasons behind it? What decides that you become a successor or failure in your life? It is nothing but just the choices that you make in daily life.

Let's assume that you take roughly ten choices in a day and each choice takes one step forwards in the two directions. It may take you to towards your ideal self or the worst self.

Example: you have a choice to wake up early morning and late morning. If you choose to wake up early morning then it will take you towards the ideal self and if you choose to make up late morning then it leads to the worst self.

As I assumed that you make ten choices per day, which takes you ten steps, either direction. But there is a possibility that your choices do not lead you to any of the direction "Neutral". Maybe you make your choices in such a way. You stand in middle, not a successor or a failure. Many of us are in that range.

Example: Suppose that you make choices that lead you towards one direction and also the same amount in opposite direction. Five good choices and five bad choices. Basically, each choice canceling each other out. If you are in this stage or any of one "successor or a failure." Don't worry. Just be with me till the end then you will know what to do to solve your problem.

Let's imagine if you were making five good choices and five bad choices. If you can replace just one of the negative choices from your daily life.  Now, you make six steps towards your ideal self and 4 steps back to worst self. Here, we observed that one positive choice leads you 20 percent towards your ideal self.

Suddenly you reached a completely different position. Definitely, there will be a different picture if you make better choices every day. But this is highly unrealistic because no one can constantly do this. However, it is not necessary to do it constantly. Just make good choices more often than bad ones. Here the only one thing that matters the most that you are heading forward to your ideal self and the correct path.

Here, I will tell you how to make good choices more often than bad ones.  Just keep in mind, next time, you jump on the sofa/bed to watch Netflix/Amazon/T.V or play a video game, then just think for 20 seconds and ask yourself. It is the best choice or there is something better which you can do instead of watching Netflix/Amazon/T.V or play a video game. I do not about you. But I try to think about what would the ideal version of me do in this kind of situation? I can assure you that questioning ourselves is really helpful. It allows us to pause our behavior, and readjust our actions if required.

Furthermore, we have to understand if we desire to become an ideal version of ourselves, we have to do it now, what our best version would. Not later, not next time, not tomorrow, not next week, but now.

I know many of us love to delay our actions. They feel that in the future they will somehow become more energetic, more motivated, and work harder and all will be well. But they do not know that this habit keeps them away from their own true potential capacity. Most of them do not have any idea that in the future, they will not become magically different human beings. They will be the same person as they are today if they do not take any actions to become a better person as required. By the time it is detected, most people have spent many years on the wrong path. Because they always kept thinking that they will change in the future, but in the end they never did. Now they have to make many good daily choices just to return on track.

That is why questioning is very important if we desire to become an ideal version of ourselves, we have to do it now, what our best version would. Not later, not next time, not tomorrow, not next week, but now.

What we will become in the future is mainly based on the choice-making process in daily life. So make sure you should ask yourself what your best version would in every situation.

Choice has the power to impact our future. We may not able to see the importance of our choice today, even not tomorrow. We will notice it when our choices already affect us adversely over time.

So, as of now we able to understand that if we make good choices more over time, it will lead to the path of success "Ideal Self", or when we repeat continuously bad choices over time it will lead to the path of failure "Worst Self".  I hope now you understand the power of choice.

So, the question is to you that which version will choose to be "Today"(Comment in the box below)

Here, I want to understand how the choices lead us to the way of success or failure. So, I have asked in the form regarding ten common choices which we will take in our daily life. I kindly request you to please answer correctly and unbiased. The link is given below.

 https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScklMqvKhPO7LlSZhny3E3RKFP6MMKjmhlNNzkf5wHDUUrYYA/viewform?usp=pp_url

 

Let me know what you think about this article in the comments down below.

And if you are still hungry for more, make sure to follow me and comment.

Let's become smarter every day.

Five Advance Tips For Improving Communication

  

Five Advance Tips For Improving Communication

I have been explained in my previous article that how can you improve communication skills by knowing five simple tips.

In this article, I will share with you some more tips which will lead your communication skills to the next level. So, let’s start, and please be with me till the end.

Do you know, what will be your success rate in your life if you can only communicate well? (waiting......What happen) Ok just guess some rate before going to the next line. So, the association between communication skills and your success is almost 85 percent (Mann 1918). If you may communicate well then your success rate rise by 85 percent. So, now you can imagine the big picture in your mind about how important communication skill is in your life.

So the first technique is….

1)     Match their Mood

Matching the mood with other people is very important in communication.

So, the first step to start a conversation without choking it, is to match your mood with the other’s mood, if only for a few sentences.

I am very sure that you have encountered aggression of mood mismatch.

What! not... hmm Let me remind you.

Did you remember that when you were rushing to go for a class/important meeting/or a date with your beloved? Then one of your colleagues stops you suddenly and starts narrating a long boring story. I will give you one more example. Once in your life, you were feeling very down and then a colleague jumps in front of you from nowhere with an overexcitement mood and start pounding you with questions. (am I right?)

Many of us may feel unpleasant in this kind of situation. Then we start talking aggressively or roughly to him/her. It is not pleasant.

Every true lover knows, or they should know, that to quiet a crying partner, s/he should not yell "quiet down". True lovers cry sympathetically and try to match their partner misery for a couple of moments. Then they slowly shift into a happy tone. Your all listeners are your beloved and you are the true lover. So try to match their mood if you seriously want to improve your communication.

So remember this tip, just take a voice sample of others and try to detect their mood before you open your mouth next time to talk to the others. If you detect that they are sad then be sympathetic to them. If they are excited then share enthusiasm.  

2)     Present Mundane With Passion

As you know, what we say does not matter, but how we say that matters the most.

Now you may be worried about what says first words? Don't worry. I have a fact in my pocket which may help you to get over with all the tension.

Leave your all tension aside because 80 percent of people impressed by how you say, not what you say (Schreiber& Hartran 2013). No matter how mundane and dull the text, just make sure yourself how you are delivering the text.

Furthermore, when you start communicating with someone. You can start with anything except complaining about something, rude, and unpleasant. If you start a conversation with a complaint then people may lose interest or tag you as a complainer. Suppose you are at a party and you met someone new to you and you start a conversation with him/her. The first sentence was a complaint about something. Like, this party is very bad or boring. Then what you said to that person is a hundred percent sample of you. It may leave a negative impression. So, keep it in mind that the first words that come out from your mouth should not be unpleasant. whatever else you say, it doesn't matter how boring is it, just adds a little bit of excitement to it then all goes up.

3)     Become a Modern Day Renaissance Man

Renaissance man means: when a person seeking to improve their abilities in many areas of accomplishment. The best example of a renaissance man is Leonardo Da Vinci (1452-1519) because he was expertise in many fields. He was a painter, scientist, engineer, and mathematician.

Often people think that becoming a renaissance man is a very humungous task. Only a handful of genius, talented people, or people born with talent can become a renaissance man.

No, it is not like this. You and I also can become a renaissance man or a social expert. Just we have to put a little more effort and gain knowledge of other fields which you like and which you don't.

However, the main point is to gain information or knowledge in different fields, not only in a specifics field which you like the most. Now you will ask why? Let me explain it to you. Suppose you like only painting and you are too much focus on it. You are trying to learn every aspect of it. So, here the problem is that you know more about paint and very less about other fields. Now, what will happen when you meet other people? They may not know anything think about painting. If you start a conversation with them it will last for a few minutes. These kinds of problems we all have faced in our life. We want to talk to more with someone special, but we don't have much to talk about. So, make sure once in a while read something new anything. I assure you that you will have something interesting and new to talk to anyone.

4)     Always have something interesting to say

As you remember, I advise you to follow the "Whatzit" rule before going to an important event (in the previous article). Here I have one more tip for you. Just listen properly.

So whenever you are going to any important event like party/function. Then you mainly plan your dress and outfit and make sure that everything should match. And of course, if you are following Whatzit" rule then you must wear something attractive like the right tie or perfect color lipstick. Just wait for a minute. Aren't you missing something important?

What about a nice conversation to make your image shine in the eyes of others? Obviously, you will use your basic instincts to improvise conversation. But for at least get ready in case inspiration does not hit. Do you know what is the most efficient way to assure you are conversationally in the middle of things? Just listen to a credible newscast just before going to the event. By doing this you will get an idea about what is going around the world right now.  Like as, all the natural disasters, floods, fire, stock market crashes, and other news. It will help you to create great conversational material. It does not matter what type of gang you are circulating in.

So, now you know that you have to follow both rules "Whatzit & Always have something interesting to say" before leaving the house. 

5)     Never the naked thank you

We say the clause “thank you” very often that people talk it very casually. It is because we say "thank you" alone to everyone. So, never let “thank you”, stand-alone and naked. Make sure that whenever you say it “thank you for something”. 

Let me explain to you why we should say thank you for something. Let's assume that you are traveling on the train and by mistake, you left your handkerchief on the seat and someone returns it to you, then you will say thank you to him/her. In other case, you had a road accident and someone helped you then you said thank you. My question is to you that both thank you are the same? 

I think no. So, always say "thank you for". Like, thank you for helping me in danger situation, thank you for being such a loyal person. I hope you enjoyed it learned something new today. You can also share some tips. I sure it will help us to become better. Because our motive is "Let's become better every day".

Let me know which one is your favorite in the comments down below.

And if you are still hungry for more, just comment.

Please follow and share. Don't forget to comment.

 in case if you have not read the previous article, Just click the link below:

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References

 ·       Mann, C. R. (1918). A study of engineering education: prepared for the Joint committee on engineering education of the national engineering societies (No. 11). Merrymount Press.

·       Schreiber, L., & Hartranft, M. (2013). introduction to public speaking. The Public Speaking Project.

·       Leil Lowndes (1999), “How to Talk”,

 

 

Do You Know Five Fundamental Rules To Talk To Anyone

Do You Know Five Fundamental Rules To Talk To Anyone

I have always admired about those successful, victorious, and top men/women who seem to "have it all" do you?  I always see them chatting and talking very confidently and comfortably in meetings, pubic places, and social parties. Do you?

I have always thought why only these kind ones with the best job, the nicest life-partner, the great friends, rich and wealthy. Do you?

 

 Hey......just think of yourself! are they really smarter and knowledgeable than you? You know what I think. NO.. they are not smarter or educated than you or me. They also do not look better than us.

So then what is it??

Some of you say that they inherited it. Others say that they married it, or they just lucky. So I ask those fellows that just think again.

The most important and basic thing is that they have a skillful and efficient way of dealing with any human being.  Whether it is winning the promotion, landing the job, or charming a new partner. Other people are our optimal, and the greatest resources.

The internet has been seen as the ultimate means of bringing people altogether.  Where you can have ultimate fun with a constantly growing of  "friends" on Facebook. Whatever we need to keep in mind that spending hours and hours in the front of a mobile, laptop, or any screen is an inferior substitution for the broad palette of experience offered by face to face time with another person.

Today I' have come up with five fundamental techniques of "How to talk to anyone".

So let's jump right in.

1) The Flooding Smile.

The technique number one is the flooding smile.

You should not walk around with a constant smiley face. All great communicators know that their smile is the greatest weapon so they have designed it for maximum impact. When they smile, it has more impact on others, and other smiles with them.

Now you know this, so next time, whenever you greet someone, do not smile immediately. Instead, look at the person's face for a moment. Standstill, soak in their face. Then let the flow a warm, and big responsive smile on your face and let it flow into your eyes. In a fraction of a second, people get assured that your smile is honest and only for them.

 2) Sticky Eyes.

Do you know.... in the western culture, most of the people considered deep eye contact as a signal of confidence, trust, and knowledge? Yes, it is. Here the main trick behind it is that you have to pretend your eyes are connected to your conversation. You have to keep in mind that you should not break eye contact even after s/he has finished talking. Whenever you look the other way, do it so reluctantly and slowly. Suppose you have a problem while looking into the other person eyes, just look at their nose or eyebrows. Deep eye contact can be highly beneficial in the case of business, and especially between men and women.

3) Limit the Fidget

Expert communicators knowingly control every sign which may distract the listener from the conversation.

So, you have to know that whenever communicate with someone then you should not massage your arm whenever it tingles or rub your nose when it itches. You should never put your hands on your face. You should not loosen your collar when you feel hot, nor you blink your eye constantly.

As you know all these signs reduce your credibility. So, you should come up with discomfort, if you want to improve your credibility. So, now onwards let you your ear tingle, nose itch, and keep your hand away from your face. Still, if you do repeat these actions while communicating surly listeners may think that you are hiding something or lying even you are not.

 4) Parroting

You know in badminton how the shuttlecock is coming forth and going back over the net? Similarly in conversation, where the conversational shuttlecock goes forth and back.

First, you speak, then another person speaks, again you speak, and so on.. now what will you do when the shuttlecock falls in your court and now it is your move to speak, but your head goes blank? No need to be panic, just you have to repeat it "Parrot," the last few words said by another person, kindly in a questioning tone. Now, you throw the shuttlecock (conversation) right back in another person's court, and then all you need to listen.

For example:

S/he: Hey! I went to the market last night.

You: The market?

s/he: Yes, there was a great sale.

You: Great sale?

Just keep in mind that you should not overdo it, Because it can be extremely annoying if they do not have much to say. In case if they do have much to say then it is the fine technique to continue the conversation if you do not have much to say to our partner.

5) Wear a Whatzit

As you starting a conversation is very hard with someone, especially when you do not know the person. In such cases, Wharzit surely helps you out.

So what do you mean by Whatzit?

hmm... do not know? Ok... I will explain it to you. It states that when you carry or wear something unusual, strange, and unique thing. Such as a strange tie, unique t-shirt, interesting purse, etc. It can be any object or thing which attracts people attention. This is called Whatzit.  So, now whenever you go outside or a party then carry or wear something unique or strange to give others an excuse to approach you.

similarly, it goes for you. When you are interested to talk to someone new. Just follow the Whatzit law.....

Let's be smarter than Yesterday.

Here, I have explained to you five great fundamental techniques to upgrade your communication skill.
Let me know which one is your favorite in the comments down below.
And if you are still hungry for more, make sure to subscribe and wait for part two.

 

Reference:

Leil Lowndes (1999), “How to Talk”,